Decisions and Change

When I returned to university in September, I was naive to the number of decisions I would need to make and how much change was to come. Making the decision to go to university was one that had worried me since my early secondary school years. Despite this, making that decision was definitely one of the best I have ever made. 

So, now that I am nearing the end of this term and coursework deadlines are slowly approaching, I have realised that I have a lot of questions that I need to answer, which will inevitably affect my future. Changes in circumstances will mean a lot is going to change. What do I want to do after university? Is doing a placement after my second year the right decision for me? If I don't do a placement will this negatively set me up for the "real world"? These questions, among others, may seem easily answerable to most, but particularly over the past week, I have found them tasking my mind much more than they had before. 

I am guilty of wanting excessive clarity in my life and the fear of the unknown has always bothered me for as long as I remember. However, not everything in our lives can be scripted, and I'm slowly learning that change can be good but is also unavoidable. Right now, I may not know exactly what I want to do after I graduate, but I do know that I am studying the right degree which could lead me in many directions. I (think) I know that I want to write in something that involves writing, but in what way I am unsure. There are so many possibilities my mind hasn't quite yet decided yet! With the right experience and determination, I could become a journalist, content writer or copywriter amongst many other options. 

As a second year student, many do placement years to get experience in a field that they may want to work in after they graduate. For me, I only knew that this was an option when my second year started, unlike most who apply for their course as they know that this is an option. With this description, it may seem stupid to not try and do this. However, due to the area that I would want to work with it isn't as simple for me as I first thought. After a lot of irrational thinking, confiding in some of my wise friends and family, I have (hopefully) made the decision that a year-long placement out of my studies is not feasible for me. After the struggle of getting to university, the number of "what ifs" related to the situation are too much of a risk for me. I believe that my mental wellbeing rules over the risks and stresses involved with trying to get and moving away for a placement. 

Instead, I am hoping to push myself to try and get summer work experience somewhere to help me get more of an idea of the specific area I think I would want to work in after university. This route, I personally think will work best for me, as obviously, everyone is different and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. 

Thankfully, I have amazing friends and family that have given advice and helped me reassure myself of the many questions that have been bothering me and running through my mind. I suppose the purpose of this post is to know to push yourself but to do what is best for YOU. I am learning that what is best for you may be completely different from what is best for others. Now, it is time for me to return to getting emotionally attached to Christmas adverts!

Love,
H x 

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